Life On Hold

While life seems to rain a little harder on some than others, nobody is exempt from tough times. We expect challenges and only hope they pass quickly and strengthen us. But all the awareness in the world could never prepare anyone for the life-changing assault of serious illness.

I can barely remember my life before Taylor’s diagnosis. I can say it was hectic, laughter-filled, frustrating, and delicious, but I can’t really summon up that life-with-young-children craziness in my head. One day I was driving carpools, making dinners, and enforcing bedtimes and the next day the doctor said my daughter had cancer. Serious cancer.

Carpools were rearranged, dinners were ordered in, and nobody cared about bedtimes. Life became a blur of appointments, scans, procedures, decisions, and the insufferable waiting for answers. I wondered if and how this other life I was leading would ever make room for my first life. Would the luxury of a boring day ever be mine?

#Lifeonhold did finally end, but that was with Taylor’s death. And needless to say, I would take all the torture back in a second. But one thing I’ve learned is to focus on the large and small joys even when life rains bricks. The joys are there – sometimes you just have to look a little harder to see them.


Leave a comment