Our daughter, Taylor, was diagnosed with cancer at the age of eleven. Overnight, our family was thrust into the world of pediatric cancer. We barely got our feet on the ground before we were bombarded with treatment plans, biopsy results, and words we couldn’t pronounce, let alone understand.

As I was trying to make sense of this new world into which I was suddenly thrust, my intuition reminded me that my most important job was to maintain my composure so as to not scare Taylor. I kept silently repeating to myself, No matter what, she has to believe that Mommy and Daddy will make everything all better. My instincts were spot on, but this was not always easy.

I learned a lifesaving lesson that worked for me throughout Taylor’s illness. I strived to compartmentalize my thoughts. I embraced all the joy and happiness on the good days, and on the days Taylor was suffering, I allowed the extreme sadness and anxiety to take control, although I always tried my best to hide it from Taylor. This allowed me to achieve my greatest victory, allowing Taylor to live every moment she could, as if she were just a kid with cancer, instead of a “cancer kid.” From egg throwing fights to splatter paint to teaching her to drive before she got her license, every day was a new adventure and although I often felt like a kindergarten teacher, I was elated at being able to give Taylor a gift I had control over, at a time when we had no control.

In addition, my husband, Bob, and I never stopped being a team and worked extremely hard to complement each other throughout our daughter’s battle. We each took on different roles and responsibilities: Bob alone would meet with the doctors, while I stayed with Taylor. I was responsible for Taylor’s day-to-day care: tracking all of her medications, learning how to minimize her suffering, and making chemo life fun. Bob, on the other hand, diligently researched treatments online almost every night and got many second opinions. This strategy worked well for us, as Taylor never felt abandoned and I didn’t have to hear what the doctors had to say.

Lastly, one of our hardest hurdles was making sure our other children didn’t get overlooked, both literally and emotionally. We tried to impress upon them that they were not alone in their emotions. We still went on family vacations when possible, brought them to the hospital for overnight “sleepovers,” and made sure they understood how much they were loved.

Ultimately, there’s no way for anyone to completely avoid the fear and concomitant pain that comes along with a cancer diagnosis; however, if you insist on living life on your own terms, it allows you to live with meaning and purpose. Find a reason to be happy, a reason to laugh, and a reason to love. If all else fails remember my daughter’s favorite saying: “When life stinks; wear a helmet!”

My daughter, #TaylorMatthews, was diagnosed with #childhoodcancer at eleven years old. Her only symptom was shortness of breath while playing sports, which her pediatrician believed was caused by exercise-induced asthma. You can imagine our shock when a follow-up routine pulmonary exam revealed Taylor had cancer.

From day one, Taylor would not allow cancer to stop her from living a full life. She was a force of nature, a kid with cancer, never a “cancer kid.” She simply refused to let it define her. Time and time again, she endured her cancer treatments and then quickly rebounded despite pain and life compromises. I found it incomprehensible that she could concentrate on the next item on life’s agenda and look past the hurdles. But, she made the most out of every day, living life on her own terms. Cancer was a sideline even though it infiltrated almost every aspect of our lives.

The very best medicine Taylor received came in the form of #love and #laughter. She was a trickster at heart, always scheming to have fun. Nothing changed when she got sick. Taylor was not a victim but rather, she was living proof to friends, family and medical professionals alike that cancer and fun do go hand-in-hand.

Taylor’s exuberance was infectious and the hospital staff adored her. Taylor and our family pushed the envelope in every way possible. Many times when we were told no, she was too sick to do this or that, we did it anyway, and the memories in our hearts prove it was well worth it. She seemed unstoppable, making even the most jaded #oncologists believe she would beat the odds.
In the end she ran out of time; there were no more options left to treat her and the cancer went rogue. Taylor lost her battle at sixteen years old, almost five years after her initial diagnosis.

Taylor’s love and concern for others lives on today through the #TaylorMatthewsFoundation, a tay-bandz organization, which she founded within the first few months of diagnosis. Her foundation, a 501 (C) 3 non-profit, is dedicated to raising awareness and funding pediatric #cancerresearch.

In memory and honor of Taylor, I co-authored the book, #PaintYourHairBlue- A Celebration of Life with #HopeforTomorrow in the Face of Pediatric Cancer.In addition to telling my story, weaved throughout this book are a myriad of #invaluableanecdotes and tips that will make the reader a far better warrior in the war on cancer.You will come away from the book with a vivid understanding of how truly short and #preciouslife is and a greater willingness to add more color as we go along.